NEVER Give Up – Mandy

I’ve had Cortical Dysplasia Epilepsy since I was a baby girl, long before I was even born. All throughout my life I had suffered from severe migraines, seizures and auras – but I didn’t know they were even abnormal. I was too little to realize. When I turned 14, the tonic clonic seizures began and they hit hard. Every medication was tried for a period of 6 years with no success. I even had a VNS implanted in hopes to avoid that brain surgery. All that I thought was “I’m gonna have to cut my hair… And I might die.” Because my doctor and surgeon were very honest that it was a 50/50 surgery. I’d either pass away, or come out alive. They explained that my seizures were so intense that the tissue in my brain was literally being friend and damaged. I remember my doctor saying “If you don’t get this surgery, there’s nothing we can do for you. You could die at any moment.” So I finally said yes. I was scared and I felt like an emotional wreck for the weeks and days leading up to my surgery. I started to cherish every single second of my life, as sick as I was, because it might have been all that was left. The surgeries (one surgery is done to open the brain and do in-depth mapping, and the other is to remove the tissue) were intense. Surgery #1 wasn’t as painful as I had thought it would be, but my body just wasn’t doing too well and my seizures were out of control entirely. Thankfully, the doctors were able to map all areas that needed to be removed. They told me I would have difficulty reading, writing, lose vision and also have worsened depression. But I said yes, because I had already come that far. The second surgery was the hardest dornmy family and my surgeons. It was supposed to be quick – 3 hours tops – and then I’d rest for a day or two before waking up. But there was abnormal bleeding that the surgeon could not stop, and I started to pass away around the 6th hour. The doctors chose to induce death and attempt to continue surgery. The surgeon asked to speak to my father and mother and told them “There are great chances that your daughter might be “a vegetable”.” This was due to what is considered severe surgical trauma. Their hearts were broken, and their hope was lost. I didn’t wake up or show much activity for a week. But then I finally woke up, in spite of missing 1/4 of my brain. And it wasn’t easy, my friends. I will not lie. Recovery was difficult. I had to learn to read and work in speech as if I was a little kid. It took me an entire year to feel regular emotions again – other than constant fear and anxiety of dying. I don’t know how my family made it through all of this with me, but now it’s 6 years later and I’m still thanking God for every single day of my life. I also had a divine and priceless death experience, but that’s too long of a story to write. But I will say that it was nice to see my grandma and uncle – as well as seeing the Lord up to his lips. I begged to stay, but he said it wasn’t my time. And here I am. Thankful for every single minute of this life.