Me and My Epilepsy – Alexus

Hi! My name is Alexus and I was diagnosed with Epilepsy when I was 5. My dad died back in 2008 due to Epilepsy and lack of medication. He never let his seizures get in the way. I was hospitalized a lot not knowing back then what I had was serious. I skipped doses and thought hospital visits were just check ups. I have Grand Mal and Absence seizures. My doctor said my absence seizures would’ve been gone by the time I hit puberty but they never did. I had a seizure back in February 2019, days after my birthday because of lack of medication and my pills weren’t working anymore so after nights in the hospital I was put on 2 medications and I wasn’t having seizures no more but I ended up getting very mentally ill, physically ill, disoriented etc. I had no motivation to eat and I weighed 100 something pounds. My bones cracked when I made one move and I became very slow (mental wise). It broke my heart to hear my mom say “You’re scaring me.” “This isn’t you.” And “The medication completely took my daughter away.” I was always crying and praying for things to get better and was agnostic at one point. I isolated myself and had severe depression. I was put back in the hospital for 2-3 days and I never wanted to leave the hospital so much in my life. I felt like I was treated like a lab rat every hospital visit I went to. The doctors even noticed I was acting out of the ordinary and they really tried with me. I felt like I was to far gone to get better but I kept telling myself “Suck it up. You can do this. You’re not to far gone.” And I let the doctors do what they had to do. I started feeling better little by little. I missed school and my friends, I didn’t go to school for 3 months. It was a tough time in my life to the point I actually thought I wasn’t gonna make it but I left the hospital a lot better than what I felt like. I’m still a bit disoriented and do have some moments but as of right now I’m enjoying life more than I ever did.